The divorce rate has risen tremendously in the last 100 years. In 1870, 1 out of 34 marriages ended in divorce. By 1900 it was 1 in 12, by 1940 1 in 5, and in the 1970s it was 1 in 3. The world seems to care little of the right or wrong of divorce, but the Christian must see it as sin. Marriage is indissoluble before God except for immorality or death (Matthew 19:3-9; Romans 7:1-3). God hates putting away or divorcing (Malachi 2:12). Unscriptural divorce and remarriage makes someone an adulterer (Romans 7:3), and the adulterer can’t inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11; Galatians 5:19-21).
The way that a Christian can avoid (at least lessen the chance of) divorce is to marry another Christian. The whole tenor of God’s admonition to His people since the beginning has been to marry among the children of God. Israel was commanded to not marry the people of the land because it would turn them away to idols (Deuteronomy 7:1-5). Of course, Solomon is a prime example. He married strange wives who turned his heart away from God to go after other gods. This was a primary reason for the idolatry of Israel in the later generations (1 Kings 11:1-8; Nehemiah 13:23-27). Paul claimed the right to lead about a “believing wife” (1 Corinthians 9:5).
One preacher kept files on 49 couples he married where one was not a Christian. Out of the 49, 28 became unfaithful and 21 remained married but only 12 of these were able to convert their mates. This means that 2 out of 3 lost their mates to the devil and 4 out of 7 lost their own souls. These statistics are so tragic!
The four major causes of divorce have been listed as sexual incompatibility, financial irresponsibility, alcoholism, and religious discord. There is no iron-clad guarantee that there will be no divorce when one marries a Christian, but the possibility is greatly lessened. Records show that divorce is smaller among those who marry within their religion and are faithful to it. There are enough problems in marriage without adding religious division to it. Where both parties are faithful saints the four major causes are greatly remediated.
First, sexual incompatibility. When both companions are under the rule of Christ this problem is solved. There will be a great deal of affection and closeness which tend to solve the need of passion. Each will respect God’s law and the companion’s needs by rendering to the other their due. Each will realize that neither has power over his or her own body, but that the body belongs to the other, and that neither has the right to defraud the other in relation to the physical union (1 Corinthians 7:1-5). If both are Christians and deeply concerned for the rights of marriage, this problem is solved.
Second, financial irresponsibility. When both are Christians they’ll learn to be content with what they have (Philippians 4:11). They’ll practice self-control and not spend frivolously (Galatians 5:23; 2 Peter 1:6). They won’t be taken up in the easy credit of the day and obligate themselves beyond their ability to pay. There is not much of anything that will put more strain on a marriage than being under obligations that never let up. Be financially ready for marriage by being able to earn a good living and then learn to live within your means.
Third, alcoholism. Again, when both are Christians, this problem will not be a temptation. Alcoholism will utterly destroy family members. God’s saints aren’t to look on wine when it’s red because wine is a mocker (Proverbs 23:32; 20:1). The prophet declared, “Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbor … even to make him drunk” (Habakkuk 2:15). Drunkenness and revelries are works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21). Social drinking is condemned (1 Peter 4:3, look at “drinking parties”), and the drunkard has no place in the kingdom of God. Alcohol will be no problem.
Fourth, religious discord. When both mates are true New Testament Christians, they’ll be united in truth and will work together in the most important task in life: the cause of righteousness. There will be no disagreements peculiar to the Baptist, Methodist, Pentecostal, or Catholic faiths. Their desires will be God’s desire. As with all Christians, religious differences will be settled by their devotion to the truth of Christ.
While there are other problems that will cause divorce, these are the major ones. Any problem of life can be solved if all concerned are Christians. True, not all claiming to be a Christian is really one, and will act like one. So be sure the person you plan to spend your life with is a Christian in every sense of the word. One person wisely said, “If you marry a child of the devil you are likely to have trouble with your father-in-law.”
Morris D. Norman